June 20, 2018

Image: Creative Commons

One of my oldest friends is in town and it inspired me to visit old pictures of us, 
as well as a journal from that time of my life...20 years ago.
I would come to understand much later, that this was a very pivotal and defining time for me. 
Below, I share some lines from my journal, 1998. 

When you take a moment to understand where you've been, it may reveal things...
it's almost like Spirit unveils new information.
Or perhaps your consciousness is finally ready to receive the bigger picture. 
You get it. 


I wonder and wander...where am I going? 
With whom am I going?

When is the moment, that these thoughts don't caress my fragile mind?

I wish I had the means to do something new. 
wish I had the courage to rise. 

Will the day ever come, 
when my love is to love me so adamantly?

I hope to one day achieve what my dreams master.  
I want it all. 

I'm in search of something...
Once again whole, but not yet complete.

It's all too much sometimes.

I'm grounding myself. If I only knew perfect things,
there would be no reason to grow.

Is it real with you? Is anything real to you?

Is this to teach me to see parts of myself I never knew existed?

I want to know more. Learn, experience, fine tune.

I'm growing, my heart and soul.

Will balance ever be achieved?  

Are you happy?

Forgiveness in my heart and a cleansing of my soul...I'm changing. 

It's definitely in my cards, I feel it. 


Luminous Beings by Jon Hopkins

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